So, I don’t think I can adequately describe my holiday, since I kinda failed at writing about it as I went.  Instead, you get the fun Cliffnotes version!

Japan

The first important thing to note is that Japan is one of the most technologically advanced countries in the world.  However, this DOES NOT MEAN that they have the technology to put EFTPOS in their stores.  That’s right, everywhere in Japan is cash only.  Including the 7 Elevens.  EFTPOS machines and credit cards are waaaay too complicated for these people!

Of course, I would have loved to know this BEFORE I left Australia.

The second important thing to note is that, to dress to fit in while in Japan, you must abandon all common sense.

1.  It’s winter, so you should clearly wear miniskirts that barely cover your butt.

2.  No one cares if you can’t walk in those heels, wear them anyway!

3.  Remember when you were 5, and dressing up meant dragging EVERYTHING out of your mother’s wardrobe and throwing it all on?  Yep, that’s what you have got to do.  Bonus points for not matching!

However, even if you do manage to get the dressing thing down, you will never blend in.  People will slow down in their cars to stare at you as you walk down the street.  All fear the blonde hair!

Thirdly – skiing is hard when you are uncoordinated and have no balance.  Also – it is a bad idea to start skiing down a hill, and then realise half way down that you do not know how to steer OR stop.  I suggest in that situation, you do what I did – crash into the nearest relative.  Then roll around in the snow for a good ten minutes laughing at the hilarity of it all.

Finally… never ask what the food is in front of you.  Seriously.  You do NOT want to know.

Canada

Oh, definitely the highlight of my trip.  Vancouver has now kicked Melbourne off the top of my favourite cities list (a tough thing to do!), and if I wasn’t obligated to return to Australia, I would have applied for a working visa right there and then.

Canadians are like Australians who are too cold to bother being assholes.  I mean, Australians are nice people (some of the best people in the world, myself included, are Australian).  However, when you are icky and hot and sweaty, it’s hard to be nice. 

Also helps I guess that I spent some time with the most awesome person in the world.  Maybe THAT explains why I liked Vancouver so much.

However, in Canada, it’s really important to make sure you have an umbrella.  It rains a LOT.  But make sure you don’t rug up too much – I made that mistake when I got there and nearly died of heat exhaustion.  It’s not as cold as what people lead you to believe!

Another important thing to note about (well, where I stayed, anyway) Vancouver is that there are tattooists and piercing parlours EVERYWHERE.  If you are weak of will, like me, you may come home with an extra bodily addition.

Did you know it’s REALLY HARD to get used to eating with a giant piece of metal through your tongue?

United States

Not much to say about here, since I spent all my time so far in the States sick as a dog.

OH, except this.

It fricking god damn SNOWS in the Grand Canyon.  I didn’t know that.  Consequently, my Canyon photos are all misty, foggy, snowy fail.

AARGH.

But yeah, highlight of the trip?  Awesome Canadian guy.  /swoons.

Now please excuse me while I go turn into a giant puddle of mush for an hour!