Snarks and Ladders

• 5.20pm, they STILL aren't there when they said they would be – am now verging on furious. I have MUCH to get done, and no time now. #
• The people to whom i am offloading my cats for a week aren't home. I can't get everything fixed until they take them, grrrr #
• DAMN you facebook, and your not allowing me to block applications today. Curses, foiled again! #

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• In another ingenious moment, I put 2 whiteboard markers and two felt tip pens through the wash. Of course, only a white dress got stained #
• Sitting around in my underwear, hoping to recover from FRYING ALIVE in that dress. Half an hour to cool off! #
• Having an 'ugly day'. Always the way! #
• OK – too hot for dress a. Tie string vanished from dress b. Dress c is too small. AARGH #
• tossing up between dresses for the kids formal. Long blue flowery one, or shorter black one? #
• What SANE person offers to help set up the prom? #
• Making a mask for the masquerade ball. I suck at craft! #
• On an emotional rollercoaster so extreme it needs seatbelts and safety restraints. #
• I SHOULD be sleeping, but nuts to that! #
• Wow… on the ONLY station I can get, we have Paul Hogan, and Aussie Ladette to Lady. Can't you tell I'm ecstatic….? *eyeroll* #
• FARK YOU SHOULDER. Seriously. Cracking painfully every ten seconds? Over it! #
• All the girl wants is a holiday fling… #
• Making Drs appt tomorrow about shoulder. Worried on SO many levels about what is going to have to be wrong with it, and how it will be fixed #

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• Dreaming away… even if this particular dream messes up other aspects of my life! #
• I -hate- it when I put a tissue through the wash. oops #
• I can be such a fucktard sometimes. Seriously… if there's a REALLY DUMB OPTION to take, you can be sure I'll take it. Grrrr #
• Holy hell, there's about 10 wasps at my back door. /hides. Looks like I am going the long way round to hang washing! #
• I've decided I should make my life into a REALLY bad soap opera. All I need is a few mysterious deaths here and there #
• Cooking some awesome pasta. Getting a REALLY early start on dinner #
• I'm getting pretty pro at this ignoring thing. Men. Sigh. #
• Must refrain from writing shit about big stuff that is pissing me off, unless I decide i DO want to totally alienate myself! #
• @awlbiste and it also offers me a level of protection at work, where all social media has to be as private as possible in reply to awlbiste #
• @awlbiste one of my accounts is protected. I tweet things which my family would probably find offensive, or would question in reply to awlbiste #
• *twitch* why must you get all alert at 3am? Stupid body! Stupid brain! *scowl* #
• Taking some really big steps waaaaaaay back from the internet. Not feeling obligated to follow anyone anymore! #
• One day, I AM going to feel smart, confident and attractive. Just not today, perhaps. #
• @awlbiste I really didn't know whether to laugh at some of the tweets… or want to hit someone. And the worst ones were by women! in reply to awlbiste #
• @awlbiste would that be the 'A good wife' trend? So revolting. in reply to awlbiste #
• In such a foul mood that, yes, I am eating cooking chocolate, since it's all the damn sugar I HAVE in the house #
• I mean, seriously, world…. you TRYING to make me quit work, the internet, and leaving the house altogether in one fell swoop? #
• Going back to bed with a definite case of mad. #
• @softthistle it has been SUCH a night. Seriously. in reply to softthistle #
• Post postponed. Damn raid. Damn work. Damn cookies. What a day. #
• Just remembered I am meant to cook cookies today for work tomorrow. /fail #
• Today, I am going to write a post. "Why I became a teacher". Because @softthistle actually asked me why! #
• What, almost time to go already?!?! But I don't wanna! /wails #
• There is no proper way to tell someone 'Look, all I want out of this is to get laid, OK?' #
• Looking into electronic garden timers for while I am OS. Can't really trust anyone to water my garden for me unfortunately. #
• Facebook, stop autoreverting to News Feed! I swear it's been a piece of crap lately #
• Until today, one of my senior students had never heard Enter Sandman. /sadpanda #
• Things I am NOT doing this week – Drinking! #
• Had it up to HERE with puppies. They get in the yard and bark ALL night. Growl. #
• Things which now feel useless: 1. Corset collection. 2. My water noodle. 3. This link http://bit.ly/23jpkF #
• Damn A/C works too well. Cold with it on, hot with it off! #
• I need to throw out this leaky fine liner. Of course, I wont, and I'll be pissed when I get ink on me… again #
• Yuk, another dead mouse on the lawn. At least she kills them, I guess #
• *phew* closed window without buying anything. Of course, credit card being maxed helps #
• Oh yes, Etsying is deadly #
• http://bit.ly/3LEMwb Must kill decorating urges! #
• Kamiko has her thinking face on. Pensive cat is pensive #
• Facebook, if I unfriend someone, stop suggesting to them that they friend me! *rage* #
• Why am I always so damned hungry? *stomach growl* #
• It's pathetic that I am sulking because I have to wear the dress I hate to work. Pathetic! #
• LOL, think I just got a preemptive rejection. #
• Is it just me who randomly has days where daily booth doesn't work? #
• Only in the Territory…. http://bit.ly/3Covgv #
• Thank goodness it's the end of the day! #

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But I really kinda need someone in my life.  Someone to talk to, someone to snuggle up with, someone to just BE with when I don’t want to be on my own.

I always thought that I’d do fine on my own.  I’m independent, I manage pretty well… but damn is it lonely.  Sure, I go out to socialise with co-workers (all of whom seem to be super-snuggly with their significant others, which is fine, but makes me feel completely alone).  But, every day I come home to the cats and the dog, sit at the computer and talk to a bunch of people online, most of whom probably wouldn’t give two hoots if I vanished off the face of the planet.

This really sunk in the other day when I apparently scared off someone I had been casually flirting with on the net.  I don’t know whether it’s because I never used to respond much, and perhaps my flirting ended up being somewhat direct, but he got the impression that I was interested in having a whole lot more than what was being offered, and ran off with his tail between his legs.  Unfortunate for me, since I enjoyed all that flirting!

However, it did bring it home to me that somewhere, deep down, I actually want to be in a relationship.  I’m not typically a very overt flirt, so I guess this whole loneliness thing pushed it too far.  I did try to tell him that I most certainly wasn’t after a relationship (in all honestly, I doubt that he has the mental and emotional resilience that is required for a distance thing to work), but he decided that I must be, and has managed to avoid me very well ever since.

So, that may go some of the way towards explaining my even more snarky mood lately.  Which has been popping out at awkward times (like when I abused a co-worker today, which was REALLY bad.  Well, not abused… but certainly a lot of foul language slung in their general direction).

Sigh.  Must stop being such a moody bitch!

One of these days, I’ll be happy with where I am.

One of these days, I’ll find a partner who appreciates me as much as I appreciate them.

One of these days, I’ll be wise enough to fall for the RIGHT man.

One of these days, my house will be perfect.

One of these days, my cats will get along.

One of these days, I might have a child to love and care for.

One of these days, I will succeed at going on a diet.

One of these days, I’ll be happy with how I look so I won’t need a diet.

One of these days, a student will show that they appreciate having a teacher.

One of these days, I’ll know how to encourage my students.

One of these days, I’ll feel cheerful more than half the time.

One of these days, I’ll learn how to be assertive and get what I want.

What will you do, one of these days?

• Random stuff I want: A Rice Cooker #
• Some people with bizarre justifications for their opinion are irritating, and dont realise they are doing their argument more harm than good #
• I don't usually talk politics, but I would now briefly consider moving to the US… before I wouldn't at all. #
• Friends etc: I am SO happy for you all that you are engaged/married/pregnant, but please please PLEASE stop asking when my turn is! #
• CATS!! I just put nice new placemats and napkin rings on the table, so they sit on a placemat each and chew the napkin rings. #
• Suki: it is NOT ok to put claw marks in one of my favourite bras! #
• Cleaning your ear with a cotton bud is almost as good as wake up sex… and easier to obtain when you live alone! #
• I am hungry and want to snack… but dinner is paid for by work tonight, and I don't want to fill up before a free feed! #
• Listening to System of a Down – I swear Deer Dance is one of my most favourite songs ever… *bops* #
• Friday! Whoo hoo! #
• Labradors do the best sad faces. #
• Excited that I got all my reports back WITHOUT any corrections required! #
• Twitter: I think I'm in big fat soppy love. Oh so revolting, isn't it? #
• @AFaulds you'll be over the sight of the flat when it comes to cleaning it hehe in reply to AFaulds #
• And I'm out of vodka. … ….. #
• Fuck my friends can be assholes. If I am too busy to go play sport then I am TOO DAMN BUSY. #
• So. Damned. Tired. #
• 9pm and I still haven't eaten dinner. Whoopsie #
• Screw it. Ramen for dinner again #
• and by grocerys, I totally mean groceries #
• Decisions… buy grocerys, be broke, but be able to eat something that's not ramen… or eat ramen all week. Hmmmm #
• Also… sex tips are a trending topic? I think I'd be embarrassed to admit I get sex tips from twitter… which I totally don't! #
• No luck on the Melbourne Cup. gambling and I do NOT get along! #
• Feeling AMAZINGLY excited about this upcoming holiday. Definitely going to have a ball, and already pondering a Europe trip! #
• Put on my bets for Melbourne Cup. Just have to get my frock etc all organised for tomorrow… and my camera! #
• Uh oh… the lingerie shopping monster has struck again! *hides credit card before any damage can be inflicted* #

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My House Wish List!

– Paint!  I am so tired of having white walls… I’d love something dramatic, like a chocolate brown.  The room is certainly spacious enough to do it.

– Some Curtains – I have blinds, but it looks so sterile and plain without curtains framing the windows

– Sofa covers: I really do not like the colour of my lounges.  Covers would also make the lounge last much longer, especially with two cats!

– A tapestry: I have some photos hanging on a wall, but I’d much rather have a gorgeous tapestry hanging there instead.  Or some artwork even

– A hanging mirror or a hat stand for the entryway.  Nuff said

– New light fittings, because mine are VERY nanaish

– Hanging pots and a bench out the front porch

– A little outdoor set for the back porch, and one of those gardens made of pot plants, because the soil out there sucks.

– Roses in my front garden.

I guess I have two more years to get the place how I like it, right?

One of my students did something really idiotic on the weekend.  And he just doesn’t get it.

I didn’t hear about it until the start of the week, since I was out of town.  When I did, I was really shocked.  And then I started wondering.  And worrying. 

This kid is one of my senior students.  He is 17.  He should be old enough to know better (although the little part of me that remembers the shit I got up to when I was 17 tells me different… but that’s entirely another story).  But no, he doesn’t.

On the weekend the police were called when a group of young people were seen throwing rocks at the caravan park.  They got there, found the kids, had a stern word to them, and then noticed one of them had a backpack on.  Suspecting it had alcohol in it, they asked the kid (my 17 year old student) to open it.

“Uh, you don’t want to look in there.”

Of course, that wasn’t going to fly… so the kid had to surrender the backpack.  The police open it up, and find that there is a bomb in there. 

Now, I don’t know what sort of bomb.  Serious enough to warrant the police having to evacuate the nearby houses and cordon off the area, so we aren’t talking sparkler bomb here.  It apparently had magnesium in it, which had been stolen from the school science lab.  I don’t know what he was going to do with it.

The police took him down to the station, and he was let out after someone gave him a good character reference.  I am pretty sure he has a trial on Friday.  He has been told that he is not allowed to fly on domestic flights for 12 months (which makes sense when you have a penchant for trying to blow shit up!)  He came back to school and immediately started bragging about it to his friends.  Perhaps he doesn’t realise…

• Not being allowed on planes is quite serious.  Sure, he’s getting a car soon.  But, seriously – banned from flying?
• If he gets more than a caution, he has go to Juvie.  If he turns 18 before his sentence ends, he gets moved to the adult justice system.
• If he gets more than a caution, he can also kiss travelling overseas goodbye.  No country is going to let someone in with a conviction for making explosives on their record.
• He can never get a job working for the government.  No police force.  No military. No teaching.  No form of public service whatsoever.
• He can never get a job in a field where employees deal with explosives.  One of the major industries in our area is mining.  He can kiss goodbye to that.

And, to boot, I am now left wondering.

What about all those jokes the kids make about him being a terrorist?

What was he really doing that day he came to school with chemical burns on him?  I never thought anything of it – lots of farms and industry around, a kid could quite plausibly get a chlorine burn.

How many things should we just accept as kids joking around, and how much should be serious?

Shame is a huge issue where I work.  Whenever a kid does something that is seen as embarrassing or socially unacceptable, the other kids yell out ‘Shame!’ at them.  unfortunately, they also do this whenever a student is recognised for an achievement… which makes many students not want to achieve or get recognition, because it’s embarrassing for them.  It’s something we are always trying to fight… but it’s an uphill battle.

Today was a perfect example.  Today was Melbourne Cup day (for the non-Aussies out there, the biggest horse race in Australia).  On Melbourne Cup day, everyone frocks up, wears a hat or fascinator, and puts a bet or two on the great race that almost literally stops the nation at 3pm.  So, I wore a dress and heels and a fascinator to work today (and won a box of chocolates for best dressed for my trouble, thank you very much!)

Anyway, last period rolls around, and I have my Stage 4 girls English class.  Fun times.  Seriously.  Being locked in a room with a bunch of 13 year old girls on a 40 degree day when they all just want to be home is awesome.  Well, they all actually feel like working for once, so while they are writing notes and we are discussing Malaysian Puppet Plays, we also have a side convo about what I am wearing.

“Miss, I love your shoes!”

“Thanks, I happen to think they are pretty awesome too.”

“That dress is pretty Miss”

“Well thank you”

“Why don’t you dress up like that every day?”

“Because I usually prefer to wear pants.  I don’t like dressing up enough to do it every day”

Pretty benign, and they were all doing their work.  I was actually fairly happy for a hot and cranky teacher at 2.30 in the afternoon.

“Miss, you have huge legs”.  Like… I always thought you’d have real skinny legs, because they look skinny when you wear pants… but they are HUGE”

“Yes, they most certainly are.”

“Don’t you HATE having huge legs?  Do you like your legs?”

“Not really, but I can live with them.  Everyone’s got a flaw somewhere”

“Don’t you feel shame dressed like that?”

“No… why would I feel shame?”

“’Cos everyone’s lookin’ at you funny… and everyone can see your huge legs”

“What everyone else thinks doesn’t really bother me.  What, you going to let it get you down if someone doesn’t like what you are wearing?”

“Yeah, it’s really important what other people think!”

“So it takes away from you as a person because someone says something silly about your outfit?”

“Of course it does!  I don’t want to be shame!”

“Perhaps you just need to learn to not care so much about what other people think”

“Oh, Miss, that’s shame.  Hey, Miss, has anyone ever told you you have fat legs?”

Sigh.

Oh, and yes, I DO have large legs (although they aren’t especially fat.  Just muscular).  But, I also happen to have ears which are small and don’t stick out sideways, hair that’s a half decent colour, and I still have a waist line.  It’s all a matter of perspective!

The ever delightful Marylin linked to me in this quick n easy meme (thanks Marylin!)

I don’t change my desktop very often, so I have had this one for a while.  However, I think it is the first gaming desktop I have had in a long time – I usually stick to an image of the cats or something.  Perhaps I am just getting geekier?

For those who are unfamiliar with the image, that is a WoW screencap… specifically of my character about to fly into one of the major cities.  What can I say, I thought it was pretty!

However, I think I might be changing it soon to one of my photos from Nymagee.  What is Nymagee, you ask?  Well… maybe I’ll write a post about it sometime this week.  If the cars weren’t in the shot below, it would perfectly capture the feel of the place… one tree.  Lots of dirt.

I don’t actually have anyone to tag… instead, I’ll leave it open for anyone to take up on their own.