Snarks and Ladders

So, I don’t think I can adequately describe my holiday, since I kinda failed at writing about it as I went.  Instead, you get the fun Cliffnotes version!

Japan

The first important thing to note is that Japan is one of the most technologically advanced countries in the world.  However, this DOES NOT MEAN that they have the technology to put EFTPOS in their stores.  That’s right, everywhere in Japan is cash only.  Including the 7 Elevens.  EFTPOS machines and credit cards are waaaay too complicated for these people!

Of course, I would have loved to know this BEFORE I left Australia.

The second important thing to note is that, to dress to fit in while in Japan, you must abandon all common sense.

1.  It’s winter, so you should clearly wear miniskirts that barely cover your butt.

2.  No one cares if you can’t walk in those heels, wear them anyway!

3.  Remember when you were 5, and dressing up meant dragging EVERYTHING out of your mother’s wardrobe and throwing it all on?  Yep, that’s what you have got to do.  Bonus points for not matching!

However, even if you do manage to get the dressing thing down, you will never blend in.  People will slow down in their cars to stare at you as you walk down the street.  All fear the blonde hair!

Thirdly – skiing is hard when you are uncoordinated and have no balance.  Also – it is a bad idea to start skiing down a hill, and then realise half way down that you do not know how to steer OR stop.  I suggest in that situation, you do what I did – crash into the nearest relative.  Then roll around in the snow for a good ten minutes laughing at the hilarity of it all.

Finally… never ask what the food is in front of you.  Seriously.  You do NOT want to know.

Canada

Oh, definitely the highlight of my trip.  Vancouver has now kicked Melbourne off the top of my favourite cities list (a tough thing to do!), and if I wasn’t obligated to return to Australia, I would have applied for a working visa right there and then.

Canadians are like Australians who are too cold to bother being assholes.  I mean, Australians are nice people (some of the best people in the world, myself included, are Australian).  However, when you are icky and hot and sweaty, it’s hard to be nice. 

Also helps I guess that I spent some time with the most awesome person in the world.  Maybe THAT explains why I liked Vancouver so much.

However, in Canada, it’s really important to make sure you have an umbrella.  It rains a LOT.  But make sure you don’t rug up too much – I made that mistake when I got there and nearly died of heat exhaustion.  It’s not as cold as what people lead you to believe!

Another important thing to note about (well, where I stayed, anyway) Vancouver is that there are tattooists and piercing parlours EVERYWHERE.  If you are weak of will, like me, you may come home with an extra bodily addition.

Did you know it’s REALLY HARD to get used to eating with a giant piece of metal through your tongue?

United States

Not much to say about here, since I spent all my time so far in the States sick as a dog.

OH, except this.

It fricking god damn SNOWS in the Grand Canyon.  I didn’t know that.  Consequently, my Canyon photos are all misty, foggy, snowy fail.

AARGH.

But yeah, highlight of the trip?  Awesome Canadian guy.  /swoons.

Now please excuse me while I go turn into a giant puddle of mush for an hour!

At the moment, I am back at Mum and Dad’s.  Now, this may just be me, or it could be the rest of the world, but being back at home with the parents is FRICKING PAINFUL when you are used to having your own space.  It takes them, oh, maybe 2 days to get back into ‘While I know you’re actually an adult, I am not going to treat you like one’ mode, and start nagging you.

“Oh, when you book your holiday, make sure you go on an organised tour, because you are not travelling in Canada on your own!”

“You haven’t gone into debt over this, have you?”

“Make sure you feed the animals, clean your car, and this that and the other”

“Put on a bloody jumper before you catch cold!”

“Have you eaten today?”

AAAAAARGH!

Then, there’s the fun of getting the animals used to one another.  Cats are god damn sadistic evil animals who know when there is a lame one around.  The new cat is half blind, totally deaf.. and the other two take advantage of this by sneaking up behind her, beating the shit out of her, and then spitting in her face.  It’s like one of those kung fu movies… if the ninjas decided it would be more fun to beat up grandpa in a wheelchair.  Actually… didn’t that happen in one of those 3 Ninjas movies?

Of course, I made this all better the best way I know how: I went shopping.  Got myself a couple of dresses (since I am most definitely going through a ‘Yes I am a fucking girl, just because I don’t act like it and swear like a trooper and watch football and car racing *Rage!*’ phase).  And a shit load of stuff more my house, although I still want more.  Yeah, yeah, so I like decorating, but hate cleaning.  And…

I booked this year’s BIG trip.  Japan, Canada, and the US, here I come!  More on that… next time.  Perhaps.  Until then, hey, let me know what mischief a girl can get herself into on the west coast of Canada and the US.

So, I know you guys have heard this all before, but, you know what, I am going to blab it all out on here again today.  Yay me!

Ever since I got back from the US things have been both easier and more difficult with the other half.  It was awesomely nice to spend time with him, really, it was.  However, it has made the old “I’m not moving!” “Well, I’M not moving either!” impasse, well, more impassable.  After my trip to the US, I have decided that I just don’t want to live there.  No offense to you American folk, but I didn’t see anything there to dissuade me from the view I already have of your country.  Besides, as much as I would hate to admit it – I have fallen in love with the landscape out here in the desert.  So much so that I want to do a big camping/photography trip sometime.  This place is gorgeous. (And the rest of the country aint half bad either)

Anyway, I know the American landscape is beautiful as well.  I just can’t see myself getting used to some rather different aspects of the culture over there.  For instance – I get the philosophy with tipping.  Really, I do.  However, it irks me that I have to leave a tip every time I buy a drink at a bar (considering the ridiculous price I paid for a drink anyway!).  It irks me that I get poor service since I didn’t understand the custom properly and often screwed it up (you leave a tip on the table over there?).   And it irks me that I have to tip because there isn’t a protection set up so people earn a living wage.  That’s right, I couldn’t live somewhere that didn’t have my left-wing “We will pay you enough to live.  And we will give you universal health care.  And we will give you a pension that you can live on when you are of sufficient age, thankyou for paying us taxes all those years you worked!” philosophy.  The US as a somewhat left-wing oriented person seems like a very frustrating place indeed.

Anyway, this wasn’t meant to be a rant about how much I dislike America.  I figure, the country itself honestly must be OK, because I like a hell of a lot of people that I have met over there.  But, as an Aussie… somewhere like Canada might be more to my liking. *Shrugs*

But, of course, the BF doesn’t get it.  And I don’t understand him not wanting to come here.  I would REALLY appreciate some sort of FAIR agreement – you know, he lives here with me for a year, I live there with him for a year – but he doesn’t want to do that.  He doesn’t want to move here at all, ever, full stop.  Hell, he foresees me visiting him before he visits me (I’ve already been there, it’s HIS turn!).  AAAARGH!

Not to mention, we just don’t get to spend enough time together.  We hardly talk because he is often too busy gaming, or out socialising, or whatever.  I understand that time zones make life suck, but it is mildly frustrating.

Oh… and guilty conscience time.

So, I find myself flirting with the other guy.  I really have to stop this, and I really have to draw a line in the sand and not cross it.  It isn’t fair to him.  Just sucks that I was, well, interested for such a long time, and never sure enough of myself to make a move.  Probably because he lives bloody 17 hours away.  And because he was SO unclear with his motives.  Seriously unclear and confusing.  Still is, really.

Get the feeling I like to make myself suffer much?

/rant off