Snarks and Ladders

There are many many things which are absolutely amazing to me right now.  One of them being the absolute stupidity of the Kardashians.  And how much money they earn for being stupid.  Gah!

See, here’s little old me.  Dreaming big dreams of buying my dream house, and secretly sobbing because I know that, by the time I save the deposit, said house will probably be gone. 

Then we have KK.  Who made $12 million last year.  I’m not sure how she made that much money, because I am 99% certain that making a sex tape and entering an ill advised and very short marriage would result in me losing most of my money, not to mention dignity, pride, and general, well, me-ness. 

Not that I haven’t contemplated it, mind you.  I have been pondering a number of schemes to raise money in a short time, and most of them haven’t been feasible.

Bank robbery:  I run far too slowly, and I am pretty sure banks don’t actually have large amounts of cash on hand any more.

Phone Sex Operator: seriously considered this.  I have strong doubts about my ability to sound sexy, I don’t know if I could handle listening to strange things without giggling, and I think the boy might perhaps object.  And I doubt it actually makes anyone a lot of money, really.

Win the lottery: Not really something you can plan for.  Also requires me to buy lottery tickets.  Or to steal them, but most people I see buying lottery tickets are old ladies, and that would make me feel bad.

Sell my stuff:  Who is going to pay a decent amount for any of my crap?  I’m already selling my car, and that’s not getting me anywhere! (P.S. – if anyone is in the market for a zippy small car, let me know)

Sell my eggs: Would totally do this.  Except I don’t think we have people who buy eggs in Australia, since I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to sell reproductive, um, matter here.  And I don’t think anyone would want my crazy ass eggs anyway.

Meet a rich and generous benefactor: Not even worth considering.

Make money from blogging: Bahahahahaha… blogging, the least profitable venture in the universe!  Unless I learn to be interesting, and write well, and market myself, and write every day, and all that jazz.

So, while the idea of my dream house is awesome… I don’t think I’m going to be able to Kardashian it and become rich and famous for no apparent reason at all.  Dang it.

After a month hiatus (we all deserve a Christmas break, don’t we?) I am finally back, with… Well, very little to report.

I got an iPad, which I am hoping will cause me to blog more, bake more, and do all the things I used to get done. Or, instead, you know, I’ll just spend all my time playing fruit ninja and achieving nothing. That’s a very distinct possibility!

The end of summer will help when that arrives as well, what with less time at the river with Mr. Confusing, and more time in the house hiding from the cold.

So, goals! We haz them!

1. Bake more. Lots more. Because baking is quite possibly one of the best things in the universe. Second only to eating.
2. Write more. See if I can’t find that ability to blather on about random crap in a somewhat interesting way again.
3. Keep the house cleaner, because no one likes a piggy.
4. Take more photos.
5. Work more on the garden. It’s getting the slowly, but it definitely needs, well… MORE.
6. Keep on doing the shit I’m doing well. Like not giving a rats ass what I look like (to some extent… Obviously I’m clean and generally groomed and stuff, but that’s about it. Weight? Fancy haircuts? Meh, I’m over it, and much happier for it)

I’m also doing some work around the house, which I will absolutely LOVE to share, as I get it done. Yay for redecorating? And making the house more cat friendly? And, more importantly, less cat hair filled?

New year. Bring it on.